Believe it or not, I think I have every reason to be happy right now but I still get really depressed and drink and smoke and sing about begging God to take me.
Thanks to noted psychologist Laura Mitre, I learned that It is our low self esteem and wounds we have from others that invites this melancholy to embed itself in our subconscious.. Others, even loved ones, see me like this sometimes and get mad at me for allowing shit to get to me. But, I have to tell them it’s a disease, I am still mourning the losses I had, my self-respect, my inheritance, my family, my mother, my beloved and friends. The fact that I have no support money wise from no one, the fact that I was robbed of a healthy happy life, I have to tell them F… off! and let me be depressed if I want to.
We just have to. My way of dealing with it is drink some wine, smoke a cig, lock myself in my car blasting music, I cry for an hour or two and then I get over it.
That is the trick I guess. I see it as some kind of therapy. Like chemotherapy for the cancer, I can only tell you don’t feel bad for having those feelings. Find your own chemo, whatever it is ~ music, movies, find something that will help you mourn, cry or do whatever you feel you have to do and then move on, you’ll get over your melancholy eventually, I’m sure!
That’s all I can tell you for now my friends, I hope, sharing my ways to deal with things help you get ideas for yourselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment