>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
>
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
> Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
> in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
> loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
> the local Target.
>
> Dear Mrs. Samuel,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
> store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
> of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
> are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
> 1... June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
> 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
> leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that
> in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
> costing the company money.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
> layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department, to which twenty children obliged.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
> screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
> 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
> using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
> yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
> a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
>
> And last, but not least:
>
> 15.... October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
> then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
> the clerks passed out.
> WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
>
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
> Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
> in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
> loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
> the local Target.
>
> Dear Mrs. Samuel,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
> store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
> of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
> are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
> 1... June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
> 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
> leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that
> in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
> costing the company money.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
> layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department, to which twenty children obliged.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
> screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
> 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
> using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
> yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
> a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
>
> And last, but not least:
>
> 15.... October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
> then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
> the clerks passed out.
No comments:
Post a Comment